Sometimes I'm so pathetic

Like those moments I just spent like half an hour stalking my favoritest missionary/roommate HPen's blog because I just sat and watched the Notebook and my rommates are slowly disappearing and I sat without pants on for a couple hours today and I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the summer.

I think it's time the mission gives back my friends.

Meanwhile, I have a lot of blogging to catch up on apparently! Just now realizing how far behind I am. Like extremely.

You people don't even know that I lived with my best friend for the last 6 weeks! Or that I wrote a grant! Or that I declared a major! Yeah, I'm hot stuff. Lemme tell you, Provo is looking good on this girl.

Except for when it decides to snow in June. WUT.

My First Summer

So this is the my first summer away from home. It's been a wild ride for sure. Can I just throw it out there that growing up is so bittersweet? It's so nice to have all these experiences, but there's always the complicated 'grown up' stuff. As HPen tells me in every letter, C'est le vie.

Anyway, summer in Provo is so cool! First of all, there's no snow. Also, there's plenty of free stuff to do around town (one week soon we're going to a food truck round up. That's pretty snazzy.) And let me tell you, food is so good and there's still student deals. #savingdollars

Also, I'm not taking classes right now so I work a lot at super awesome job that lets me talk to fantastic people (and not so fantastic ones, too) all day long. Plus I still work for res Life so I get to see all my favorite people everyday! Not taking classes opens up a lot of time and I love finding things to fill it with. Parties, drives, movie nights, and more food. Really just exploring Provo. #lovewhereyoulive (shout out to Elmo)

And now for some pictures. Because that's what this is really all about right?

Just chillin at the UP HOUSE in Herriman, Utah. It's an exact replica! Excuse the ratchet level of this picture. It was after a temple day. 

Excuse the derp face. 

Oquirrh Mountain Temple with my favorites! This was the second temple we went to that day. We hit up the Draper temple too, but we didn't get a picture there. 

Then one day Jason and I went to the zoo. Luckily we're both like 5-year-olds so it was the experience of a lifetime. Also, we pretty sure that they just spray painted the black bears white and called them polar bears. And we can't forget that zebras have five wives?

Okay, we literally looked all over for the sloth (Hoffman) and everyone else found him in like 2 seconds. Jason really wanted to steal him but I wouldn't let him. I'm too pretty to go to jail yet. 

Family picture <3 My long lost Ranga sista friend. 

One of us looking semi-normal.

HOFFMAN. I want him so badly. He's perfect - seriously.

So at the zoo we learned about sloths and their "cuddle puddles". Here is our cuddle pudd (no "le" because Zach wouldn't join us.)

Also, can I just say I'm so glad that Jason and Taylor became best friends on the mish because that means that Taylor and I also became best friends on the mish and now we're the three best friends anyone could have. 

Lei and I went to the temple while Amber studied for finals. We always look so cute so we have to take a picture every time. FYI, the Provo temple is extremely busy Fridays so pick another time to go. Or go to another temple like we do hahah. 

After the temple we got unratchet and hung out with Taylor! He's the greatest.

#swelfie - It's that thing where you go to swig and take a selfie. I missed the cute memo. Thanks y'all. Oh well, still cute though.

Okay I have so much else to write about (another time) still! Like that one time I went to California! Or that time I went to a Bees game! Or that time that I went to Camp Kesem... wait that didn't happen yet.

Moral of the story is that there is so much fun to be had and so much still to be shared.

Take the time to do something adventurous. Live in moment. Just do! And life will be happy I swear.  

I've Been Thinking

I know that's kinda scary. But isn't crazy to think about how people come into your life? And the ones you think will be important aren't and the ones that are you don't realize it until late.

(Heads up, this might end up being me talking in circles and making absolutely no sense.)

Take H for example. Her name alone made me think we weren't going to get along right off the bat. I emailed her timidly because that's what you do when given a roommate's email address right? I didn't know at the time how important she would become in my life or how much we would need each other. And neither of us really understood how tidy we were (We both said somewhat. I'm definitely more than somewhat and she is most definitely less. But I love her!) And now, a year later, I miss her more than dieters miss candy and we text each other funny things that we used to be able to say across the room and now there's an ocean dividing us.

Or A. A admitted to me later on that she hated my first impression and thought I was really stuck up when she first met me (I think I need to work on that... haha). We always joked about our first times hanging out. One day she tried to find me and there was another Britt on the floor but she was Brittany and I'm Brittani. We had our names on the doors courtesy of our RA and Amber knocked on Brittany's door and asked, "Oh, is Brittani here?" and she said "I am Brittany..." How awkward for her right? That led to me sleeping on her extra bed almost every night until K moved in and even then I moved my mattress in. Lucky I have her while K is going to be in London and nearly all of our other friends are going on missions.

And then there's Lady K! K and I met the summer after my junior year. We got in trouble for being rebels without a cause at EFY and keeping the whole building up. We yolo'd so hard even then. Fast forward two years and we find out we're living on the same floor of the same building or Freshman Year at BYU... COINCIDENTALLY.  The universe was definitely trying to tell us something then (HIMYM reference, anyone? Anyone? K will get it.)

Where there's Lady K, there's a Lake - the second half of the blondtourage. L and I had our ups and downs but we make a good team. She reminds me not to take life so seriously and she needs me to take her phone so she actually gets her assignments done. And she started as that girl down the hall who wanted us to come see her on Halloween at Sonic because she had to work. Oh, she likes Little Mermaid too so that's kinda bonding.

Can't forget about A and O. Met because BYU put us together in a Y-group because we signed up for the same class our first semester. Take a picture together the first night and it's like you're destined to love them forever. A is on a mission and I talk to him weekly and can't imagine not having his friendship in my life. He truly was an answer to my tear-filled, lonely prayers. And O - we may not have seen each other everyday of the school year, but we finished where we started and made sure there were lots of laughs and memories along the way and are able to pick up where we left off when we are together.

Or my bulldogs. Did you know that when I first moved to Lake County they all picked on me relentlessly? Not like they do now where it's a joking thing. But to the point where I would go home and cry. (I was pretty weird individualistic in the middle school in their defense.) And then in high school I started checking their collars to make sure their ties were covered because I think I might have OCD. And one day Kyle called me Momma Goose and that's how that started. And now I love and care about them like my brothers and I pray for them and worry for them and get excited for them and they are some of the greatest friends in my life. Even if they agitate me without end.

There's the friends I thought would be my friends forever in high school and now we hardly talk or I see their Facebook statuses and that's how I keep updated.

There's the friends who come into your life and leave and come back until you realize how much you love them and need them around. And no matter what life brings you through or where you are or how many times you fight or say "I hate you" deep down you always still care.

There's the friends that I feel obligated to make things work with and I try really hard but I know that in the end I have to do what's best for me and sometimes that means going separate ways because we have different life experiences and we grow in different ways and sometimes that means that we grow apart. But that's life.

What I'm trying to say I guess is that there are so many things that happen in our lives and we don't always take time to appreciate them or write them down or ponder them. And I always tell myself I'll get around to it at some point but tonight I just knew I needed to write it down for me because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. In the end, I just feel grateful. And that's possibly the best thing.

I don't blog enough

Sometimes, there are things that happen in my life, and I'm like, "I think that might be funny for other people to read." So I blog it. But then, I get bored or I feel the need to procrastinate yet again (like now, for instance. Imagine that!) And I go back and read my old posts.
Man, I'm hilarious. But besides my obviously perfect sense of humor and complete sarcasm, I love to read the moments when I'm serious for 0.23 seconds and I'm like, wow, I actually learned something about life. And it's like a living breathing journal - which I'm supposed to have anyway, but blogging is more fun - that I can look back on and gain insight and all that mushy, gushy sentimental stuff.
So for all of you that read my blog, you're pretty cool because you get to see my life, too. Well, the cool parts anyway. So I now present to you,

Story Time Catch-Up!

Here's a picture of Jennea when she was super duper awesome and came to stay with me for an un-predetermined (pretty sure I just made that up. What of it?) amount of time and experienced momo land and tried to change my background on my computer from this

Which it still is, to this

and she's just really Mac challenged so it didn't happen. But here's your perpetual claim to fame on the blog, yo.

A few months ago, I get this in the mail:

That's how pathetic my life is. Someone wants me to advertise my "Single Lady" Status in my window and hope it brings out the good guys.
Clearly, that's the reason it's on my door for everyone to see when they come in...

Last night, I was all alone so I fell asleep watching Little Mermaid. Hello, my name is Brittani and I'm secretly five years old. Which leads me to the Monday when I went to Build-a-Bear and the Disney store with Amber and people assumed we weren't there for ourselves. Ha, yeah right! (We also decided that we want the Tangled and the Little Mermaid Dinnerware to keep in my apartment next year.) Which THEN leads me to Thursday which may or may not have been the best conversation of my life that involved A LOT of caps and other forms of text screaming out of excitement of possibly the best news of my life that'd I might be headed to Disneyland with this girl in a few months where we can act like kids in a candy story (Read: little girls in Ariel's grotto) and not be judged for it

 Might I add that we are pretty freaking adorable at any age? Even with my hoe make-up on from the musical. Ps. K, where are the pics from when we were at our happy place last summer?
^I also just have to say that I am rocking whatever print is on those pants? #YoungFashionista

With my Aunt Jamie and her familia living so close, I've gotten to see her pretty often lately which is awesome. Mainly because I get snuggles from these cuties

And she cooks for me and lets me do my laundry over there and is pretty much freaking the best ever.

Sometimes, it's really hard to keep the paparazzi away from us at lunch.. They don't get it...

I may or may not be the best FHE mom ever. So what if we do activities that I do when I babysit. It was pretty legit. 

I don't know why but only girls showed up that night. It was still super fun! My favorite is the one in the lower right hand corner. That's Cole Lyman attempting to finger paint this

It was a valiant effort, Cole.

So basically, this semester has kinda been ridiculously hard and I'm still trying to figure out my life and all. But at least I've got some great memories. I mean in all honesty, no one remembers the nights they got to sleep a lot, but they remember the times they made a not-so-great choice and went out and went crazy and had so so much fun and then have to stay up late finishing an assignment that's due the next day. Or maybe you roll in during the wee hours of the morning and you and your roomie decide to shower at 5 am because, why not? (Oh yeah, she fell asleep in her clothes... again). Or maybe you go late night bowling because you can. And it's Provo. And maybe you spend some time fifth-wheeling it, but it's okay because your friends are awesome and at least they have good, caring boyfriends. All of this is hypothetical, of course. But I think the best thing is to remember the cray cray times and enjoy life. You only live once, right?

This year

It's almost over 

WHAT.

Wasn't it just yesterday that I sat in my room balling my eyes out with Lady K because we had no friends and hated it here and wanted to be home and missed our family and the sky was falling and the world was coming to an end?

First night at school, say what?

 That was eight months ago.

And now the thought of going home is killing me. I mean I have the BEST people in my life - hands down. H, A, K, L, and the plethora of boys lining up at my door (don't even get me started on how many marriage proposals I've had this year, I mean really*). And now I've gotta go home and put all that on hold and work and make money and do some leadership stuff on the side because that's kinda my thing. I just got settled in and started enjoying, well, everything and now I'm out. And 99.9% of the people I met won't be here next year - THOSE FREAKING MISSIONS. Good thing I love this Church as much as I do and I'm okay with it. I also don't want to be struck down by lightning...

I feel like I've learned a lot. No so much in my classes but those were cool, too. More about me. And I realized how much I love this time in my life and how I don't want it to end and I don't want to grow up and I want to be able to stay up all night and jump around until we see the sun, you feel me?

It's just been some great time. Some awesome, fantastic, truly wonderful memories. And this 3-month break is going to SUUUUUUCK.

I now present to you: A Year in Pictures (The Condensed Version)

First Friends! Love them always and forever. 

Cutest Roommates you ever did see. #Jackpot

First (and LAST) time hiking the Y.

First Homecoming! True Blue. Thanks for making me go, BM.

First time having all four seasons! (Sometimes all in one day... Oh Utah.)

First real winter. Guys, I'm still alive. Shocking to even me!

Christmas at Temple Square with my lovers. Oh, that night. Memories. 

Ice skating! Still my dream date. Take note, boys, I'm easy to please.

It felt like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters. But it was really cold...

Did you know if you sit in the right place at lunch time in the CougarEat approximately 2012839201438247 people will come to talk to you about country dancing and hungry face competitions and BYU/SA?

Just a mid-week drive to Salt Lake. Gotta look hot, you know what I'm saying?

*Yeah, no that's a joke. So sorry for the disappointment. But I made it through my first year without a ring on it! Yes, it can be done! Actually, none of my friends got engaged this year. #foreveraloneattheCannonCenter

Reflection

For every paper I've written in my Writing 150 class, we had to complete a reflection on the process of writing our paper and the challenges and successes that came because of it.
Well, seeing as it's the end of my first semester of college (!), I thought it might be appropriate to reflect on my challenges and successes in this latest chapter of my life.

First, I have now lived on my own for four months. HATE IT. There is nothing better than going home, eating something homemade, having someone do your laundry, and not having to plan everything on your own. But, there are positives. I don't have to have someone plan my every minute (Mom, if you only knew how I spent my time here...), and I'm learning to be independent. Baby steps, for sure, but I'm doing it.

Second, I have a new family. I did the impossible and made new friends. Seeing my brothers/bulldogs over break was one of the highlights of my life, no joke. But there was a part of me that couldn't wait to get back to P-town to see Kenzi and Amber - my sisters - and all the other wonderful/not-so-wonderful people here. What a relief to know that, yes, it can be done! I can live outside of Lake County!

Third, I'm not engaged, dating someone, or planning on dating someone. Take that all you people who said I'd come to BYU and be engaged after a semester because
    a. That's what Mormons do
    b. That's what BYU is for.
    c. It didn't matter where I went to school because I really was only going to meet my future husband (MRS degree, obviously)
And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Fourth, I have cried more in the last four months than anytime I can remember. There were the times when I missed my boys. There were the times when I was so stressed about classes I couldn't see straight. There were the times when all I wanted was to be home where I didn't have to worry about money anymore! There were the times when I couldn't make up my mind about the future (a scary place by the way). And there were the times when I just wanted familiarity. BUT I LIVED. I succeeded. I made it through. And all those worries seem a lot sillier from this point of view.

Fifth, I'm okay with the fact that I haven't gotten all As this semester and that that is pretty much out of the realm of possibility. Did it suck of course? Well yeah! This girl's had straight As since the 4th grade! But then I remembered I'm at BYU. And every student here came from a highly successful academic background. And not everyone can be on top. AND I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Sixth, getting out of the Lake County bubble has opened my eyes in so many ways. I sure appreciate home a lot more. I wouldn't change growing up in hicktown Lakeport for anything in my life. I love having to explain where I live in California to people who think that they know the area so well. And then the looks on people's faces when I tell them I graduated with 100 kids. The stories that I have, the memories, make it all worth it in the end.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I'm happy for where I've been, and excited for where I'm going. I kinda surprised myself with sitting down and writing this with how many things I'm thankful for in my life. It may mean nothing to you. But it means everything to me!

EDIT: Oren wanted me to let you all know how miserable I was that I didn't get to see him over break. That is all.

So I'm Sitting on the Couch

Amber: "I've decided you're the most boring person when you first wake up and right before you go to bed. Just thought I'd inform you."

Dear Amber,
So is every normal person. But then again you have to put your face on right when you wake up. The end.
Love,
Brittani
xxooXOx
(hug hug, kiss kiss, big hug, big kiss, little hug)

Countdown to Minnesota

This is Jaron

He thinks he's pretty cool. I guess he's alright.
A few weeks ago, Jaron got his mission call to the Minnesota Minneapolis Mission - Spanish Speaking! I'm so excited for him but the only bummer is that he's only at school for one semester. To celebrate/make the most of our time, we made a list of things to do before he leaves. So far, so good :)
1. Hike the Y
2. Watch Footloose
3. GO TO AWFUL WAFFLE

4. Hot date with Earnest

5. Watch Hercules
6. Watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
7. Raspberry sorbet/sherbet for the Texan
8. Give Jaron his phone back...never.
9. Jaron-wear a jacket
10. Letter Writing (Not the sucky kind)
11. Museum of Art, Healer's Art
12. Kick Someone Out of the Band
13. Write Jaron's Apology Acceptance Letter
14. Take Some Sweet Pics

15. Learn Not to Hate Brittani and Her Ginger-ness
16. Get Jaron Some Gloves
17. Stargazing  (We found Chancho!)
18. Geocaching
19. Watch The Little Mermaid
20. Old Time Movie in the Library
21. Watch A Knight's Tale
22. Planetarium
23. Make Sure Amber Doesn't Ruin THIS List (You should see the other one)

I Have These Really Awesome People in My Life Like... {Three}

Amber

Reasons why I love Amber:

1. She LOVES Disney as much as I do. If not more. She has a Tangled poster in her room, ftw.
2. We have the kind of humor that only we understand. Sometimes I wish we were one person and could be together all the time because we just laugh about everything.
3. She has an extra bed that she lets me use :)
4. She dresses me up super cute when I feel like death.
5. She's so protective of me and we've only been here a month.
6. WE CAN SHARE SHOES!
7. She sings like a boss.
8. We share Earnest.
9. We can pick up on each other's movie references!
10. Let's be honest. We're hot.

Reasons why Amber sucks:

1. She's from Texas....

I'll forgive her though because I can't imagine my life without her now!

Cuppy is My Man

You've all seen this movie, right?

If you haven't you should just leave now.

Growing up, okay to this day, I've had an obsession with anything that had to do with a red head. Madeline, Little Mermaid, Enchanted, the Peanuts, and yes, obviously, The Parent Trap. In fact, it was one of my favorite movies.

So it shouldn't come to you as a surprise that I brought Charlie Brown with me to school.

Or that I have this bad boy on my bed:

(Although I must say, mine is WAY cuter.)

Now, if you're looking at this and wondering, "Why does Brittani have a scary stuffed rabbit?" again, you can leave. I've had Cuppy longer than I can remember. And I love that I have to explain it to everyone who comes in my room and sees it.

Wanna see him in action? He's a star.

Anyway, I figured I'd blog about my love because, well he's the best. And yes, I talk to my stuffed animal like it's real. Quit judging.

Reason number two for this blog post: Amber thinks he's the worst. Little does she a know that a mint condition Cuppy is selling on ebay at a high of $129.95. 

Not only is he a star, he's rare. And he's all mine.

Gingers, ftw.