I've Been Thinking

I know that's kinda scary. But isn't crazy to think about how people come into your life? And the ones you think will be important aren't and the ones that are you don't realize it until late.

(Heads up, this might end up being me talking in circles and making absolutely no sense.)

Take H for example. Her name alone made me think we weren't going to get along right off the bat. I emailed her timidly because that's what you do when given a roommate's email address right? I didn't know at the time how important she would become in my life or how much we would need each other. And neither of us really understood how tidy we were (We both said somewhat. I'm definitely more than somewhat and she is most definitely less. But I love her!) And now, a year later, I miss her more than dieters miss candy and we text each other funny things that we used to be able to say across the room and now there's an ocean dividing us.

Or A. A admitted to me later on that she hated my first impression and thought I was really stuck up when she first met me (I think I need to work on that... haha). We always joked about our first times hanging out. One day she tried to find me and there was another Britt on the floor but she was Brittany and I'm Brittani. We had our names on the doors courtesy of our RA and Amber knocked on Brittany's door and asked, "Oh, is Brittani here?" and she said "I am Brittany..." How awkward for her right? That led to me sleeping on her extra bed almost every night until K moved in and even then I moved my mattress in. Lucky I have her while K is going to be in London and nearly all of our other friends are going on missions.

And then there's Lady K! K and I met the summer after my junior year. We got in trouble for being rebels without a cause at EFY and keeping the whole building up. We yolo'd so hard even then. Fast forward two years and we find out we're living on the same floor of the same building or Freshman Year at BYU... COINCIDENTALLY.  The universe was definitely trying to tell us something then (HIMYM reference, anyone? Anyone? K will get it.)

Where there's Lady K, there's a Lake - the second half of the blondtourage. L and I had our ups and downs but we make a good team. She reminds me not to take life so seriously and she needs me to take her phone so she actually gets her assignments done. And she started as that girl down the hall who wanted us to come see her on Halloween at Sonic because she had to work. Oh, she likes Little Mermaid too so that's kinda bonding.

Can't forget about A and O. Met because BYU put us together in a Y-group because we signed up for the same class our first semester. Take a picture together the first night and it's like you're destined to love them forever. A is on a mission and I talk to him weekly and can't imagine not having his friendship in my life. He truly was an answer to my tear-filled, lonely prayers. And O - we may not have seen each other everyday of the school year, but we finished where we started and made sure there were lots of laughs and memories along the way and are able to pick up where we left off when we are together.

Or my bulldogs. Did you know that when I first moved to Lake County they all picked on me relentlessly? Not like they do now where it's a joking thing. But to the point where I would go home and cry. (I was pretty weird individualistic in the middle school in their defense.) And then in high school I started checking their collars to make sure their ties were covered because I think I might have OCD. And one day Kyle called me Momma Goose and that's how that started. And now I love and care about them like my brothers and I pray for them and worry for them and get excited for them and they are some of the greatest friends in my life. Even if they agitate me without end.

There's the friends I thought would be my friends forever in high school and now we hardly talk or I see their Facebook statuses and that's how I keep updated.

There's the friends who come into your life and leave and come back until you realize how much you love them and need them around. And no matter what life brings you through or where you are or how many times you fight or say "I hate you" deep down you always still care.

There's the friends that I feel obligated to make things work with and I try really hard but I know that in the end I have to do what's best for me and sometimes that means going separate ways because we have different life experiences and we grow in different ways and sometimes that means that we grow apart. But that's life.

What I'm trying to say I guess is that there are so many things that happen in our lives and we don't always take time to appreciate them or write them down or ponder them. And I always tell myself I'll get around to it at some point but tonight I just knew I needed to write it down for me because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. In the end, I just feel grateful. And that's possibly the best thing.