I've Been Thinking

I know that's kinda scary. But isn't crazy to think about how people come into your life? And the ones you think will be important aren't and the ones that are you don't realize it until late.

(Heads up, this might end up being me talking in circles and making absolutely no sense.)

Take H for example. Her name alone made me think we weren't going to get along right off the bat. I emailed her timidly because that's what you do when given a roommate's email address right? I didn't know at the time how important she would become in my life or how much we would need each other. And neither of us really understood how tidy we were (We both said somewhat. I'm definitely more than somewhat and she is most definitely less. But I love her!) And now, a year later, I miss her more than dieters miss candy and we text each other funny things that we used to be able to say across the room and now there's an ocean dividing us.

Or A. A admitted to me later on that she hated my first impression and thought I was really stuck up when she first met me (I think I need to work on that... haha). We always joked about our first times hanging out. One day she tried to find me and there was another Britt on the floor but she was Brittany and I'm Brittani. We had our names on the doors courtesy of our RA and Amber knocked on Brittany's door and asked, "Oh, is Brittani here?" and she said "I am Brittany..." How awkward for her right? That led to me sleeping on her extra bed almost every night until K moved in and even then I moved my mattress in. Lucky I have her while K is going to be in London and nearly all of our other friends are going on missions.

And then there's Lady K! K and I met the summer after my junior year. We got in trouble for being rebels without a cause at EFY and keeping the whole building up. We yolo'd so hard even then. Fast forward two years and we find out we're living on the same floor of the same building or Freshman Year at BYU... COINCIDENTALLY.  The universe was definitely trying to tell us something then (HIMYM reference, anyone? Anyone? K will get it.)

Where there's Lady K, there's a Lake - the second half of the blondtourage. L and I had our ups and downs but we make a good team. She reminds me not to take life so seriously and she needs me to take her phone so she actually gets her assignments done. And she started as that girl down the hall who wanted us to come see her on Halloween at Sonic because she had to work. Oh, she likes Little Mermaid too so that's kinda bonding.

Can't forget about A and O. Met because BYU put us together in a Y-group because we signed up for the same class our first semester. Take a picture together the first night and it's like you're destined to love them forever. A is on a mission and I talk to him weekly and can't imagine not having his friendship in my life. He truly was an answer to my tear-filled, lonely prayers. And O - we may not have seen each other everyday of the school year, but we finished where we started and made sure there were lots of laughs and memories along the way and are able to pick up where we left off when we are together.

Or my bulldogs. Did you know that when I first moved to Lake County they all picked on me relentlessly? Not like they do now where it's a joking thing. But to the point where I would go home and cry. (I was pretty weird individualistic in the middle school in their defense.) And then in high school I started checking their collars to make sure their ties were covered because I think I might have OCD. And one day Kyle called me Momma Goose and that's how that started. And now I love and care about them like my brothers and I pray for them and worry for them and get excited for them and they are some of the greatest friends in my life. Even if they agitate me without end.

There's the friends I thought would be my friends forever in high school and now we hardly talk or I see their Facebook statuses and that's how I keep updated.

There's the friends who come into your life and leave and come back until you realize how much you love them and need them around. And no matter what life brings you through or where you are or how many times you fight or say "I hate you" deep down you always still care.

There's the friends that I feel obligated to make things work with and I try really hard but I know that in the end I have to do what's best for me and sometimes that means going separate ways because we have different life experiences and we grow in different ways and sometimes that means that we grow apart. But that's life.

What I'm trying to say I guess is that there are so many things that happen in our lives and we don't always take time to appreciate them or write them down or ponder them. And I always tell myself I'll get around to it at some point but tonight I just knew I needed to write it down for me because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. In the end, I just feel grateful. And that's possibly the best thing.

I don't blog enough

Sometimes, there are things that happen in my life, and I'm like, "I think that might be funny for other people to read." So I blog it. But then, I get bored or I feel the need to procrastinate yet again (like now, for instance. Imagine that!) And I go back and read my old posts.
Man, I'm hilarious. But besides my obviously perfect sense of humor and complete sarcasm, I love to read the moments when I'm serious for 0.23 seconds and I'm like, wow, I actually learned something about life. And it's like a living breathing journal - which I'm supposed to have anyway, but blogging is more fun - that I can look back on and gain insight and all that mushy, gushy sentimental stuff.
So for all of you that read my blog, you're pretty cool because you get to see my life, too. Well, the cool parts anyway. So I now present to you,

Story Time Catch-Up!

Here's a picture of Jennea when she was super duper awesome and came to stay with me for an un-predetermined (pretty sure I just made that up. What of it?) amount of time and experienced momo land and tried to change my background on my computer from this

Which it still is, to this

and she's just really Mac challenged so it didn't happen. But here's your perpetual claim to fame on the blog, yo.

A few months ago, I get this in the mail:

That's how pathetic my life is. Someone wants me to advertise my "Single Lady" Status in my window and hope it brings out the good guys.
Clearly, that's the reason it's on my door for everyone to see when they come in...

Last night, I was all alone so I fell asleep watching Little Mermaid. Hello, my name is Brittani and I'm secretly five years old. Which leads me to the Monday when I went to Build-a-Bear and the Disney store with Amber and people assumed we weren't there for ourselves. Ha, yeah right! (We also decided that we want the Tangled and the Little Mermaid Dinnerware to keep in my apartment next year.) Which THEN leads me to Thursday which may or may not have been the best conversation of my life that involved A LOT of caps and other forms of text screaming out of excitement of possibly the best news of my life that'd I might be headed to Disneyland with this girl in a few months where we can act like kids in a candy story (Read: little girls in Ariel's grotto) and not be judged for it

 Might I add that we are pretty freaking adorable at any age? Even with my hoe make-up on from the musical. Ps. K, where are the pics from when we were at our happy place last summer?
^I also just have to say that I am rocking whatever print is on those pants? #YoungFashionista

With my Aunt Jamie and her familia living so close, I've gotten to see her pretty often lately which is awesome. Mainly because I get snuggles from these cuties

And she cooks for me and lets me do my laundry over there and is pretty much freaking the best ever.

Sometimes, it's really hard to keep the paparazzi away from us at lunch.. They don't get it...

I may or may not be the best FHE mom ever. So what if we do activities that I do when I babysit. It was pretty legit. 

I don't know why but only girls showed up that night. It was still super fun! My favorite is the one in the lower right hand corner. That's Cole Lyman attempting to finger paint this

It was a valiant effort, Cole.

So basically, this semester has kinda been ridiculously hard and I'm still trying to figure out my life and all. But at least I've got some great memories. I mean in all honesty, no one remembers the nights they got to sleep a lot, but they remember the times they made a not-so-great choice and went out and went crazy and had so so much fun and then have to stay up late finishing an assignment that's due the next day. Or maybe you roll in during the wee hours of the morning and you and your roomie decide to shower at 5 am because, why not? (Oh yeah, she fell asleep in her clothes... again). Or maybe you go late night bowling because you can. And it's Provo. And maybe you spend some time fifth-wheeling it, but it's okay because your friends are awesome and at least they have good, caring boyfriends. All of this is hypothetical, of course. But I think the best thing is to remember the cray cray times and enjoy life. You only live once, right?

This year

It's almost over 

WHAT.

Wasn't it just yesterday that I sat in my room balling my eyes out with Lady K because we had no friends and hated it here and wanted to be home and missed our family and the sky was falling and the world was coming to an end?

First night at school, say what?

 That was eight months ago.

And now the thought of going home is killing me. I mean I have the BEST people in my life - hands down. H, A, K, L, and the plethora of boys lining up at my door (don't even get me started on how many marriage proposals I've had this year, I mean really*). And now I've gotta go home and put all that on hold and work and make money and do some leadership stuff on the side because that's kinda my thing. I just got settled in and started enjoying, well, everything and now I'm out. And 99.9% of the people I met won't be here next year - THOSE FREAKING MISSIONS. Good thing I love this Church as much as I do and I'm okay with it. I also don't want to be struck down by lightning...

I feel like I've learned a lot. No so much in my classes but those were cool, too. More about me. And I realized how much I love this time in my life and how I don't want it to end and I don't want to grow up and I want to be able to stay up all night and jump around until we see the sun, you feel me?

It's just been some great time. Some awesome, fantastic, truly wonderful memories. And this 3-month break is going to SUUUUUUCK.

I now present to you: A Year in Pictures (The Condensed Version)

First Friends! Love them always and forever. 

Cutest Roommates you ever did see. #Jackpot

First (and LAST) time hiking the Y.

First Homecoming! True Blue. Thanks for making me go, BM.

First time having all four seasons! (Sometimes all in one day... Oh Utah.)

First real winter. Guys, I'm still alive. Shocking to even me!

Christmas at Temple Square with my lovers. Oh, that night. Memories. 

Ice skating! Still my dream date. Take note, boys, I'm easy to please.

It felt like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters. But it was really cold...

Did you know if you sit in the right place at lunch time in the CougarEat approximately 2012839201438247 people will come to talk to you about country dancing and hungry face competitions and BYU/SA?

Just a mid-week drive to Salt Lake. Gotta look hot, you know what I'm saying?

*Yeah, no that's a joke. So sorry for the disappointment. But I made it through my first year without a ring on it! Yes, it can be done! Actually, none of my friends got engaged this year. #foreveraloneattheCannonCenter