The Life Lately

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A picture homage to the life of Brittani lately:

 Me and N! Love that little man. 

Me and E. This kid cracks me up!

 Seriously looks like a death trap, but I couldn't be happier. Who am I?

My car's there somewhere, right?

 Lots of good memories in Fugal Hall :( Sad it's gone!

 This is what a date for Brittani and Jason looks like. 

 #ckfamily

 Waiting to get x-rays because.....

 My ankle looked like that. 

Now it looks like this. Which is actually better. It just looks so beautiful. :')
(Props to the nurse/doctor/radiologist for containing their laughs as I told the story of how it happened)

 It snowed! (Find the Y)

 And I was ecstatic!! 

Classic Christmas Fun.

Okay I think that's all.

I Have Never Been So Thankful

I'm in one of those euphoric states. Literally everything in my life brings me joy - sometimes it just takes longer to remember it. And I can spam all of you with my immense gratitude because it's Thanksgiving. And so begins the list...

Brittani's Gratitude List (<yep. I'm 5 years old)

*Christmas music. It just brings such happiness mainly because I'm thinking about home and family and more holiday memories.

*My friends and the wonderful people they are. I'm grateful for when they cook for me. For when they know something's wrong. For when they make feel better. For when they remind me to find happiness. For when they tell me to stop being stupid and brush myself off. And for when I can do the exact same to them.

*Words. It's amazing the impact that words have - written or spoken, they can change things around completely. And I've realized the last few days how many people turn these words into art that moves me. 

*My job. I complain about it more than I should. It's in the late hours of the night sitting on the floor with my girls talking about life, love, and everything under the sun that I realize why I do what I do. And more importantly, why I love it.

*Camp Kesem. Camp gave me purpose. Camp reminded me what I love about life. It brought back the happiness in my life because I finally found a place where I belonged. It is SO much more than something to put on a resume. It's a family. It saved me.
*BYU. I'm here learning at a prestigious school on full-scholarship from some of the brightest people in the world. Not only do I get to increase my education, I get to grow spiritually in all that I do and be fully immersed in this Gospel that I hold so dearly. Not to mention the Temple that is right outside my window.

*The Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was restored on this earth for ME. Well, and you too. It reminds me to keep an eternal perspective on life. It helps me to not sweat the little things. It gives me comfort when nothing else can. It gives me purpose. It gives me hope. 

*My family. The reason I started writing this post to begin with. After spending a lovely day with my Aunt and Uncle and the rest of the clan, I came home tonight to work. And I started wallowing, "Woe is me. I'm alone on Thanksgiving night. My family is far away and I'm here alone. Why me." And I realized how blessed I am. I shouldn't be pitying myself today. I should be ecstatic about all that I have been blessed with. And my family is my everything, as crazy and complicated and backwards as it can get. I would be nowhere without these beautiful people. And as cliché as that is, I mean every single word. They're my biggest cheerleaders, my greatest examples, and the funniest people I will ever have the privilege of knowing in this life. And they're all mine. Sorry, y'all. 

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, too. No matter where you were or who you were with because you have people, experiences, and encounters to be thankful for too.

I've Been Thinking

I know that's kinda scary. But isn't crazy to think about how people come into your life? And the ones you think will be important aren't and the ones that are you don't realize it until late.

(Heads up, this might end up being me talking in circles and making absolutely no sense.)

Take H for example. Her name alone made me think we weren't going to get along right off the bat. I emailed her timidly because that's what you do when given a roommate's email address right? I didn't know at the time how important she would become in my life or how much we would need each other. And neither of us really understood how tidy we were (We both said somewhat. I'm definitely more than somewhat and she is most definitely less. But I love her!) And now, a year later, I miss her more than dieters miss candy and we text each other funny things that we used to be able to say across the room and now there's an ocean dividing us.

Or A. A admitted to me later on that she hated my first impression and thought I was really stuck up when she first met me (I think I need to work on that... haha). We always joked about our first times hanging out. One day she tried to find me and there was another Britt on the floor but she was Brittany and I'm Brittani. We had our names on the doors courtesy of our RA and Amber knocked on Brittany's door and asked, "Oh, is Brittani here?" and she said "I am Brittany..." How awkward for her right? That led to me sleeping on her extra bed almost every night until K moved in and even then I moved my mattress in. Lucky I have her while K is going to be in London and nearly all of our other friends are going on missions.

And then there's Lady K! K and I met the summer after my junior year. We got in trouble for being rebels without a cause at EFY and keeping the whole building up. We yolo'd so hard even then. Fast forward two years and we find out we're living on the same floor of the same building or Freshman Year at BYU... COINCIDENTALLY.  The universe was definitely trying to tell us something then (HIMYM reference, anyone? Anyone? K will get it.)

Where there's Lady K, there's a Lake - the second half of the blondtourage. L and I had our ups and downs but we make a good team. She reminds me not to take life so seriously and she needs me to take her phone so she actually gets her assignments done. And she started as that girl down the hall who wanted us to come see her on Halloween at Sonic because she had to work. Oh, she likes Little Mermaid too so that's kinda bonding.

Can't forget about A and O. Met because BYU put us together in a Y-group because we signed up for the same class our first semester. Take a picture together the first night and it's like you're destined to love them forever. A is on a mission and I talk to him weekly and can't imagine not having his friendship in my life. He truly was an answer to my tear-filled, lonely prayers. And O - we may not have seen each other everyday of the school year, but we finished where we started and made sure there were lots of laughs and memories along the way and are able to pick up where we left off when we are together.

Or my bulldogs. Did you know that when I first moved to Lake County they all picked on me relentlessly? Not like they do now where it's a joking thing. But to the point where I would go home and cry. (I was pretty weird individualistic in the middle school in their defense.) And then in high school I started checking their collars to make sure their ties were covered because I think I might have OCD. And one day Kyle called me Momma Goose and that's how that started. And now I love and care about them like my brothers and I pray for them and worry for them and get excited for them and they are some of the greatest friends in my life. Even if they agitate me without end.

There's the friends I thought would be my friends forever in high school and now we hardly talk or I see their Facebook statuses and that's how I keep updated.

There's the friends who come into your life and leave and come back until you realize how much you love them and need them around. And no matter what life brings you through or where you are or how many times you fight or say "I hate you" deep down you always still care.

There's the friends that I feel obligated to make things work with and I try really hard but I know that in the end I have to do what's best for me and sometimes that means going separate ways because we have different life experiences and we grow in different ways and sometimes that means that we grow apart. But that's life.

What I'm trying to say I guess is that there are so many things that happen in our lives and we don't always take time to appreciate them or write them down or ponder them. And I always tell myself I'll get around to it at some point but tonight I just knew I needed to write it down for me because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. In the end, I just feel grateful. And that's possibly the best thing.

I don't blog enough

Sometimes, there are things that happen in my life, and I'm like, "I think that might be funny for other people to read." So I blog it. But then, I get bored or I feel the need to procrastinate yet again (like now, for instance. Imagine that!) And I go back and read my old posts.
Man, I'm hilarious. But besides my obviously perfect sense of humor and complete sarcasm, I love to read the moments when I'm serious for 0.23 seconds and I'm like, wow, I actually learned something about life. And it's like a living breathing journal - which I'm supposed to have anyway, but blogging is more fun - that I can look back on and gain insight and all that mushy, gushy sentimental stuff.
So for all of you that read my blog, you're pretty cool because you get to see my life, too. Well, the cool parts anyway. So I now present to you,

Story Time Catch-Up!

Here's a picture of Jennea when she was super duper awesome and came to stay with me for an un-predetermined (pretty sure I just made that up. What of it?) amount of time and experienced momo land and tried to change my background on my computer from this

Which it still is, to this

and she's just really Mac challenged so it didn't happen. But here's your perpetual claim to fame on the blog, yo.

A few months ago, I get this in the mail:

That's how pathetic my life is. Someone wants me to advertise my "Single Lady" Status in my window and hope it brings out the good guys.
Clearly, that's the reason it's on my door for everyone to see when they come in...

Last night, I was all alone so I fell asleep watching Little Mermaid. Hello, my name is Brittani and I'm secretly five years old. Which leads me to the Monday when I went to Build-a-Bear and the Disney store with Amber and people assumed we weren't there for ourselves. Ha, yeah right! (We also decided that we want the Tangled and the Little Mermaid Dinnerware to keep in my apartment next year.) Which THEN leads me to Thursday which may or may not have been the best conversation of my life that involved A LOT of caps and other forms of text screaming out of excitement of possibly the best news of my life that'd I might be headed to Disneyland with this girl in a few months where we can act like kids in a candy story (Read: little girls in Ariel's grotto) and not be judged for it

 Might I add that we are pretty freaking adorable at any age? Even with my hoe make-up on from the musical. Ps. K, where are the pics from when we were at our happy place last summer?
^I also just have to say that I am rocking whatever print is on those pants? #YoungFashionista

With my Aunt Jamie and her familia living so close, I've gotten to see her pretty often lately which is awesome. Mainly because I get snuggles from these cuties

And she cooks for me and lets me do my laundry over there and is pretty much freaking the best ever.

Sometimes, it's really hard to keep the paparazzi away from us at lunch.. They don't get it...

I may or may not be the best FHE mom ever. So what if we do activities that I do when I babysit. It was pretty legit. 

I don't know why but only girls showed up that night. It was still super fun! My favorite is the one in the lower right hand corner. That's Cole Lyman attempting to finger paint this

It was a valiant effort, Cole.

So basically, this semester has kinda been ridiculously hard and I'm still trying to figure out my life and all. But at least I've got some great memories. I mean in all honesty, no one remembers the nights they got to sleep a lot, but they remember the times they made a not-so-great choice and went out and went crazy and had so so much fun and then have to stay up late finishing an assignment that's due the next day. Or maybe you roll in during the wee hours of the morning and you and your roomie decide to shower at 5 am because, why not? (Oh yeah, she fell asleep in her clothes... again). Or maybe you go late night bowling because you can. And it's Provo. And maybe you spend some time fifth-wheeling it, but it's okay because your friends are awesome and at least they have good, caring boyfriends. All of this is hypothetical, of course. But I think the best thing is to remember the cray cray times and enjoy life. You only live once, right?

Reflection

For every paper I've written in my Writing 150 class, we had to complete a reflection on the process of writing our paper and the challenges and successes that came because of it.
Well, seeing as it's the end of my first semester of college (!), I thought it might be appropriate to reflect on my challenges and successes in this latest chapter of my life.

First, I have now lived on my own for four months. HATE IT. There is nothing better than going home, eating something homemade, having someone do your laundry, and not having to plan everything on your own. But, there are positives. I don't have to have someone plan my every minute (Mom, if you only knew how I spent my time here...), and I'm learning to be independent. Baby steps, for sure, but I'm doing it.

Second, I have a new family. I did the impossible and made new friends. Seeing my brothers/bulldogs over break was one of the highlights of my life, no joke. But there was a part of me that couldn't wait to get back to P-town to see Kenzi and Amber - my sisters - and all the other wonderful/not-so-wonderful people here. What a relief to know that, yes, it can be done! I can live outside of Lake County!

Third, I'm not engaged, dating someone, or planning on dating someone. Take that all you people who said I'd come to BYU and be engaged after a semester because
    a. That's what Mormons do
    b. That's what BYU is for.
    c. It didn't matter where I went to school because I really was only going to meet my future husband (MRS degree, obviously)
And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Fourth, I have cried more in the last four months than anytime I can remember. There were the times when I missed my boys. There were the times when I was so stressed about classes I couldn't see straight. There were the times when all I wanted was to be home where I didn't have to worry about money anymore! There were the times when I couldn't make up my mind about the future (a scary place by the way). And there were the times when I just wanted familiarity. BUT I LIVED. I succeeded. I made it through. And all those worries seem a lot sillier from this point of view.

Fifth, I'm okay with the fact that I haven't gotten all As this semester and that that is pretty much out of the realm of possibility. Did it suck of course? Well yeah! This girl's had straight As since the 4th grade! But then I remembered I'm at BYU. And every student here came from a highly successful academic background. And not everyone can be on top. AND I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Sixth, getting out of the Lake County bubble has opened my eyes in so many ways. I sure appreciate home a lot more. I wouldn't change growing up in hicktown Lakeport for anything in my life. I love having to explain where I live in California to people who think that they know the area so well. And then the looks on people's faces when I tell them I graduated with 100 kids. The stories that I have, the memories, make it all worth it in the end.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I'm happy for where I've been, and excited for where I'm going. I kinda surprised myself with sitting down and writing this with how many things I'm thankful for in my life. It may mean nothing to you. But it means everything to me!

EDIT: Oren wanted me to let you all know how miserable I was that I didn't get to see him over break. That is all.

Genetic Blog {Five}

In SFL 210, child development, a lot of emphasis is placed on how parents influence development in children. This can be cognitive, emotional, social, or moral development. How we are raised determines how we will grow in the world. If our parents are kind and warm in rearing us, and teach us how to react with others we will reach social competence and be able to contribute to the world.

We will be able to show empathy and sympathize with those around us.

We will learn the value of hard work and realize that effort is greater than ability.

We will understand morality and treat others with kindness and equality.

We will serve those around us.

And most importantly, we will prepare to raise our children in such a way that they, too, will be influential in society. 

I have never been more grateful for my parents until I came to BYU. I appreciate their sacrifices more, long to be near to them, and strive to better our relationships in every way possible. Learning about the roles of parents in our development have encouraged me to reflect on my childhood and realize how successful it was. Not only am I learning ideas that will help me pass the test, I’m learning about myself and my relationships with my family and that is the most important concept I will learn by far.