FRICK

The problem with passwords is that I have to many of them! And then I can't remember which one is for which freaking log-in. So then I end up locking myself out in important moments. Like when I want to comment on H's blog post because I miss her more than a poor college freshman guy misses his meals in the Cannon when he's trying to save money/ran out. Words can't express my love for this gal. And she's pretty freaking funny too. So here's my responses.

LET’SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TALK ABOUT THE SNAPCHAT.

^that's what I was going to say. Sorry Lake, she's my roommate so I have dibs.

SO I’M SITTING AT THE BEACH

Tough life, H. STOP I'M SO JEALOUS AND I MISS YOU. COMEBACKTOMEEEE.

QUOTE{S} FROM LAST WEEKEND:

Have I taught you nothing? ALWAYS give your number to the creepy guy. Especially on your birthday when I told you to party like I would. Jeez. SMH. 

Okay that's it. 

This year

It's almost over 

WHAT.

Wasn't it just yesterday that I sat in my room balling my eyes out with Lady K because we had no friends and hated it here and wanted to be home and missed our family and the sky was falling and the world was coming to an end?

First night at school, say what?

 That was eight months ago.

And now the thought of going home is killing me. I mean I have the BEST people in my life - hands down. H, A, K, L, and the plethora of boys lining up at my door (don't even get me started on how many marriage proposals I've had this year, I mean really*). And now I've gotta go home and put all that on hold and work and make money and do some leadership stuff on the side because that's kinda my thing. I just got settled in and started enjoying, well, everything and now I'm out. And 99.9% of the people I met won't be here next year - THOSE FREAKING MISSIONS. Good thing I love this Church as much as I do and I'm okay with it. I also don't want to be struck down by lightning...

I feel like I've learned a lot. No so much in my classes but those were cool, too. More about me. And I realized how much I love this time in my life and how I don't want it to end and I don't want to grow up and I want to be able to stay up all night and jump around until we see the sun, you feel me?

It's just been some great time. Some awesome, fantastic, truly wonderful memories. And this 3-month break is going to SUUUUUUCK.

I now present to you: A Year in Pictures (The Condensed Version)

First Friends! Love them always and forever. 

Cutest Roommates you ever did see. #Jackpot

First (and LAST) time hiking the Y.

First Homecoming! True Blue. Thanks for making me go, BM.

First time having all four seasons! (Sometimes all in one day... Oh Utah.)

First real winter. Guys, I'm still alive. Shocking to even me!

Christmas at Temple Square with my lovers. Oh, that night. Memories. 

Ice skating! Still my dream date. Take note, boys, I'm easy to please.

It felt like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters. But it was really cold...

Did you know if you sit in the right place at lunch time in the CougarEat approximately 2012839201438247 people will come to talk to you about country dancing and hungry face competitions and BYU/SA?

Just a mid-week drive to Salt Lake. Gotta look hot, you know what I'm saying?

*Yeah, no that's a joke. So sorry for the disappointment. But I made it through my first year without a ring on it! Yes, it can be done! Actually, none of my friends got engaged this year. #foreveraloneattheCannonCenter

Reflection

For every paper I've written in my Writing 150 class, we had to complete a reflection on the process of writing our paper and the challenges and successes that came because of it.
Well, seeing as it's the end of my first semester of college (!), I thought it might be appropriate to reflect on my challenges and successes in this latest chapter of my life.

First, I have now lived on my own for four months. HATE IT. There is nothing better than going home, eating something homemade, having someone do your laundry, and not having to plan everything on your own. But, there are positives. I don't have to have someone plan my every minute (Mom, if you only knew how I spent my time here...), and I'm learning to be independent. Baby steps, for sure, but I'm doing it.

Second, I have a new family. I did the impossible and made new friends. Seeing my brothers/bulldogs over break was one of the highlights of my life, no joke. But there was a part of me that couldn't wait to get back to P-town to see Kenzi and Amber - my sisters - and all the other wonderful/not-so-wonderful people here. What a relief to know that, yes, it can be done! I can live outside of Lake County!

Third, I'm not engaged, dating someone, or planning on dating someone. Take that all you people who said I'd come to BYU and be engaged after a semester because
    a. That's what Mormons do
    b. That's what BYU is for.
    c. It didn't matter where I went to school because I really was only going to meet my future husband (MRS degree, obviously)
And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Fourth, I have cried more in the last four months than anytime I can remember. There were the times when I missed my boys. There were the times when I was so stressed about classes I couldn't see straight. There were the times when all I wanted was to be home where I didn't have to worry about money anymore! There were the times when I couldn't make up my mind about the future (a scary place by the way). And there were the times when I just wanted familiarity. BUT I LIVED. I succeeded. I made it through. And all those worries seem a lot sillier from this point of view.

Fifth, I'm okay with the fact that I haven't gotten all As this semester and that that is pretty much out of the realm of possibility. Did it suck of course? Well yeah! This girl's had straight As since the 4th grade! But then I remembered I'm at BYU. And every student here came from a highly successful academic background. And not everyone can be on top. AND I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Sixth, getting out of the Lake County bubble has opened my eyes in so many ways. I sure appreciate home a lot more. I wouldn't change growing up in hicktown Lakeport for anything in my life. I love having to explain where I live in California to people who think that they know the area so well. And then the looks on people's faces when I tell them I graduated with 100 kids. The stories that I have, the memories, make it all worth it in the end.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I'm happy for where I've been, and excited for where I'm going. I kinda surprised myself with sitting down and writing this with how many things I'm thankful for in my life. It may mean nothing to you. But it means everything to me!

EDIT: Oren wanted me to let you all know how miserable I was that I didn't get to see him over break. That is all.

I really am not okay with this whole 'moving' thing.

I have never EVER thought more about backing out of something until now. Obviously I'm still going. Not going would be ridiculous. But saying goodbye to my best friends in the world is one of the hardest things to do. How will I have lunch without having to yell at the boys to pick up their trash? Where am I going to go when I realize I can't just show up at Brendan's house? Who am I supposed to lean on when I just need to cry?
To prove to you how pathetic I am, I couldn't even make it down the driveway at B's house before crying. Not just a few tears. I was crying pretty hard. Luckily, he was the last stop.
This whole new world used to be exciting and inviting. And now I'm wondering what in the world am I thinking? Reality hit. Hard. So now it's 3:30 in the morning and I'm blogging because I can't sleep because I'm bawling my eyes out realizing how wonderful my life is here.
Example 1: Today I get a text from Josef that said he wanted to see me before I left. Cue tear fest. For those who don't know, I was J's first friend at CLHS. And I'm soooo glad I talked to him in that PE class. He is such an inspiration.
Example 2: Sam Omiotek printed some of his lovely shots of Lakeport for me to take to school with me. I'm so glad I can hang a piece of home in my room.
Example 3: I can just show up at people's houses and there's no judgments.
Example 4: Brooke posting on my Facebook Wall. You're amazing and beautiful and I love you and I miss you!!!!! :) ♥
Example 5: Rachel and Scott being so loving and kind all these years. I appreciate their support.
Example 6: Going to Mitch's house and having 10 people there to say goodbye too. I love those people.
Example 7: Ty staying in his undies when I went to say bye. Definitely love there.
Example 8: B letting me live in denial. Even though he has class today. But just for a minute, letting me pretend it wasn't happening. Living in the moment.
My friends always know just what I need. I KNOW I will never be able to replace or substitute or come anywhere close to what I have now. But I sure hope that I have something. And mainly enjoy myself.
On a side note, I will be in the car for 12 hours tomorrow. Text me and keep me company.

Countdown to Moving

How else do I celebrate than with Brittani day with Brendan? Too bad I'm super indecisive so it kinda failed. lol

So of course we go buy ice cream. Because when you get bored you eat.

Then we drive around. Where? Oh, pick up the little bro, go get school supplies, and then drop him off. And then drive around the lake. Like, literally. We went almost to Blue Lakes and then out to Buckingham (Google Map it, yo.) and every road in Finley.

Pizza Lessons from Captain Mike. Someday he might relive his pizza parlor days.

Shark Week, Little Mermaid, Zombies and Rugrats.

One day I might get bored. But for now I'm soaking it all up.