The Life Lately

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A picture homage to the life of Brittani lately:

 Me and N! Love that little man. 

Me and E. This kid cracks me up!

 Seriously looks like a death trap, but I couldn't be happier. Who am I?

My car's there somewhere, right?

 Lots of good memories in Fugal Hall :( Sad it's gone!

 This is what a date for Brittani and Jason looks like. 

 #ckfamily

 Waiting to get x-rays because.....

 My ankle looked like that. 

Now it looks like this. Which is actually better. It just looks so beautiful. :')
(Props to the nurse/doctor/radiologist for containing their laughs as I told the story of how it happened)

 It snowed! (Find the Y)

 And I was ecstatic!! 

Classic Christmas Fun.

Okay I think that's all.

Axel Revisited

Sometimes we send each other pictures of how gorgeous we are. 

I'm just so incredibly proud of him. It sucks not being able to talk to him everyday and I wish that he wasn't all the way in UKRAINE but I know that they are blessed to have him and the Lord knows that that is where he needs to be. Every week I get an email or two from him (one that he sends out to everyone in his contacts and one personal one if he has some extra time) and it's amazing to me how many miracles he encounters every week. I don't know why people say miracles only happened when Christ walked the earth because I know any LDS missionary can tell you they've witnessed them personally in their own lives. (Other members have also seen miracles too - don't want to discredit them.)
It's crazy to think that church send out 19-year-old boys (now 18!!) to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. It seems like there is quite a lot of pressure on them in doing so but some how they manage to do it and when they come back they come back as men.
Now, the church has lowered the age for girls to serve as well from 21 to 19 and the increase in missionaries has been so drastic that 58 new missions were created and more MTCs are being opened and just at the Provo MTC alone, housing has had to be increased.
I'm just in awe of the boys and girls willingness to serve and am proud to be a part of this church. I know that this Gospel is true and that spending time away from their families is bringing people to be with their own for eternity.

I've Been Thinking

I know that's kinda scary. But isn't crazy to think about how people come into your life? And the ones you think will be important aren't and the ones that are you don't realize it until late.

(Heads up, this might end up being me talking in circles and making absolutely no sense.)

Take H for example. Her name alone made me think we weren't going to get along right off the bat. I emailed her timidly because that's what you do when given a roommate's email address right? I didn't know at the time how important she would become in my life or how much we would need each other. And neither of us really understood how tidy we were (We both said somewhat. I'm definitely more than somewhat and she is most definitely less. But I love her!) And now, a year later, I miss her more than dieters miss candy and we text each other funny things that we used to be able to say across the room and now there's an ocean dividing us.

Or A. A admitted to me later on that she hated my first impression and thought I was really stuck up when she first met me (I think I need to work on that... haha). We always joked about our first times hanging out. One day she tried to find me and there was another Britt on the floor but she was Brittany and I'm Brittani. We had our names on the doors courtesy of our RA and Amber knocked on Brittany's door and asked, "Oh, is Brittani here?" and she said "I am Brittany..." How awkward for her right? That led to me sleeping on her extra bed almost every night until K moved in and even then I moved my mattress in. Lucky I have her while K is going to be in London and nearly all of our other friends are going on missions.

And then there's Lady K! K and I met the summer after my junior year. We got in trouble for being rebels without a cause at EFY and keeping the whole building up. We yolo'd so hard even then. Fast forward two years and we find out we're living on the same floor of the same building or Freshman Year at BYU... COINCIDENTALLY.  The universe was definitely trying to tell us something then (HIMYM reference, anyone? Anyone? K will get it.)

Where there's Lady K, there's a Lake - the second half of the blondtourage. L and I had our ups and downs but we make a good team. She reminds me not to take life so seriously and she needs me to take her phone so she actually gets her assignments done. And she started as that girl down the hall who wanted us to come see her on Halloween at Sonic because she had to work. Oh, she likes Little Mermaid too so that's kinda bonding.

Can't forget about A and O. Met because BYU put us together in a Y-group because we signed up for the same class our first semester. Take a picture together the first night and it's like you're destined to love them forever. A is on a mission and I talk to him weekly and can't imagine not having his friendship in my life. He truly was an answer to my tear-filled, lonely prayers. And O - we may not have seen each other everyday of the school year, but we finished where we started and made sure there were lots of laughs and memories along the way and are able to pick up where we left off when we are together.

Or my bulldogs. Did you know that when I first moved to Lake County they all picked on me relentlessly? Not like they do now where it's a joking thing. But to the point where I would go home and cry. (I was pretty weird individualistic in the middle school in their defense.) And then in high school I started checking their collars to make sure their ties were covered because I think I might have OCD. And one day Kyle called me Momma Goose and that's how that started. And now I love and care about them like my brothers and I pray for them and worry for them and get excited for them and they are some of the greatest friends in my life. Even if they agitate me without end.

There's the friends I thought would be my friends forever in high school and now we hardly talk or I see their Facebook statuses and that's how I keep updated.

There's the friends who come into your life and leave and come back until you realize how much you love them and need them around. And no matter what life brings you through or where you are or how many times you fight or say "I hate you" deep down you always still care.

There's the friends that I feel obligated to make things work with and I try really hard but I know that in the end I have to do what's best for me and sometimes that means going separate ways because we have different life experiences and we grow in different ways and sometimes that means that we grow apart. But that's life.

What I'm trying to say I guess is that there are so many things that happen in our lives and we don't always take time to appreciate them or write them down or ponder them. And I always tell myself I'll get around to it at some point but tonight I just knew I needed to write it down for me because it's been something I've been thinking about for a while. In the end, I just feel grateful. And that's possibly the best thing.

The end.

There's really no other way to describe it. It's just the end. The end of the beginning I suppose. Haley and I are busy deep cleaning and packing and whatnot. Cleaning out the shoebox we call home. And that's what it's become - the 3103, Provo, BYU - home. I know I'm going "home" to California. But I'm going there with suitcases and a set date to come back. And I'm okay with it. I waited for this day with anticipation since day one. And I can't believe it's here and if I'm being honest, I wish it wasn't. I could sit here and make a list of all the things I wish I would've/could've done before I left, things that I could add to the Freshman Year Bucket List. Instead, I'm just so grateful for the things that I was able to do and accomplish while I was here. And now I sit in anxiously awaiting when I can get back to P-town. It'll be a fantastic end to my summer with Camp Kesem and then swinging right in to RA training. Oh yeah guys, I'm going to be an RA! Next Fall and Winter semesters I'll be living in Freshman On-Campus housing so that they'll pay for my things (housing and meal plan) and so I can help some girls navigate their Freshman year. That'll be interesting!

As for this summer, I'm going to try and figure out what I want to do with my life. I have a few ideas, and I know I have time, but really feel like I can do it. It's a "me summer". I have a few goals in mind, a job lined up, and some quality reading time to catch up on. And I can't tell you how great it all sounds.

Things like these

First of all, click here.

Did you click it? Yes?

If you just watched a crappily recorded video of a few kids dressed in purple doing the Harlem Shake, you just watched something I'm very proud of.
I wasn't a part of it, I didn't witness it, and I wasn't there. But when I saw it I was touched.

Those are kids at my high school - Clear Lake High School.

They're supporting Relay for Life, an event that raises money for cancer research and funding for cancer patients through the American Cancer Society.

And they got involved. Two years in a row, CLHS has been the host of the event. And participation has skyrocketed, funds increase every year, and I am continually amazed.

I'm so grateful to have come from such a wonderful place where people are so giving and teach their children to be giving. They recognize needs in the community and seek to fill them. That's something I have yet to find here at BYU and I feel few people could ever truly understand the impact of that small town.

I'm loving my new life here in Provo, but there isn't a day that goes by where I'm not thankful for my little lakeside town in Northern California that taught me some of the most important values in my life.

CLHS IN THE NEWS

Operation Tango Mike
Photo Credit: Ginny Craven

CLHS Grads Helping at OTM
Photo Credit: Ginny Craven

Credit: CLHS Newsletter

Credit: CLHS Newsletter

Paint the Stands Pink - Breast Cancer Awareness
Credit: CLHS Website

I have these really awesome people in my life like... {five}

Axel

Is leaving on his mission in exactly a week. Can you believe that?? And then he'll be gone, serving the Lord in Ukraine for two years (after a brief training period in the MTC). 

I've been thinking a lot lately about how people come into our lives. Some times it's slyly. Other times it's pretty obvious right away that the person you just introduced yourself to for the first time is going to become one of your best friends and one of the most influential people in your life.

Axel and I met because we signed up for the same Writing 150 class. Thank goodness we did. So naturally at BYU they set up groups for Freshman based on class enrollment. That led us here:

My first friends at school! Olivia and Axel. I think I hit the jackpot with that one. 

 And then to hanging out/ditching NSO so that we could find our classes and make up ridiculous names for the building acronyms and laugh so hard it hurts while I'm huffing and puffing from the altitude change.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how FREAKING ALBINO I AM IN THIS PICTURE?? Okay so the story behind this: Axel always covers his mouth when he laughs so obviously Liv and I make fun of him. Haha

Somehow we end up sitting outside late one night, and Axel stops random guys and asks them to do a model walk off and then he rates them. I must say, the kid is spot on. Kudos, Axel.

 And then, we stayed out late one night (like 4am) in probably September or October (when there WASN'T SNOW, good ol' days) while he and Jaron were sick. And then they get me sick with their fetching blankets. Yeah guys, I remember that, and yes, I'm still bitter. PS that blanket mummy is me.

But I knew we were good friends when we watched Little Mermaid together. And he let me sing all the songs along with it. And didn't get annoyed (surprise, guys, he has the soundtrack on his phone and makes fun of ME because I can act out the whole movie). And obviously let me embarrass the crap out of him when I called him out for cuddling with his lady friend. Way to use my movie night as a way to meet hot babes, Axel. 

Anyway, that was the last picture we took. Because we're both idiots and didn't take one before I said good-bye at the end of the semester. He and all his roommates are some of the sweetest boys I know and they contributed to a lot of the positives during the sucky times last semester. 

He better be ready for the best hand shake of his life when he comes here next week and I get to see him for like .465 seconds before he leaves for two years. And hope that we don't forget the camera this time. 

Monday Night Letters

I've seen this on a couple blogs, and it looks like fun. Maybe it'll become a regular thing? Maybe not. #toomainstream #likehashtags

Dear Ladies of Chipman Hall,
Please stop trying to cook in the basement. There's a reason why you live here and you are stinking up the whole building.

Dear Poetry,
You're really just creepy and cryptic. Just come out and say it! Isn't that what all the magazines say to do anyway?

Dear Professor Kearl,
Stop being so crazy. You overcomplicated your class so much!

Dear Anatomy TAs,
Thanks for screwing me over. But thank you more for showing me that I need to step up my game. Thanks for supporting me and truly caring about my learning. It reminds me of home and that makes me comfortable and confident that I really can conquer this class.

Dear 3103,
We nap too much. Luckily we have so much beauty up in this room I feel like sleeping gives some of the other girls a chance. (And so much humility, too.)

Dear Mickey,
Can I come live with you and Minnie in Disneyland? I'm sorry I left so quickly last time. I really do miss you.

Dear Helen Keller*,
Thanks for trying to solve my BYU dating problems. And putting a smile on my face today.

Dear J,
Thanks for listening. It means more than you'll ever know.

Dear K, A, and L,
You're the best things that have ever happened to me. SO BLESSED. I'd kill/castrate with a fork anyone who tried to hurt you. Don't ever leave because I love you so much!

Dear Treehouse,
You have made me me and I love you, the memories, and the people who have been placed in my life because of you the last 8 years. Thanks for letting me have a few of them here with me.

Dear Bulldogs,
You taught me to value myself better than almost anyone. I love you all and I miss you and think of you every single day. Thank you for your love and most of all, the jokes. You changed my life for the BEST and I pray for your successes. I can't wait to see you all this summer.

Dear Family,
You're the best. Do I need to say more? I mean I'm sure I could write something cheesy and cliché all in movie quotes, but I think I'll save those reading this from trying to decipher it.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this life. For the beautiful views around me. For all the people, experiences, and challenges placed before me. Thank you for every moment I have to prove myself to you. Thank you for change. Thank you for perspective. And thank you for being there, every step of the way.


All my love,

Brittani

*(DISCLAIMER: This is an alias)

I Just Don't Know...

So this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal. I know that that is so pathetic. I mean everything you see is not everything I write, simply because somethings are more personal for obvious reasons. But I really do feel like I need to blog/journal more. Things are more exciting here and the Y than I let on, promises! And I know that I will regret not writing things down later on. But how do I know what's going to be important years down the road if I don't even know what's important five seconds from now?
This has been hands down the most challenging time in my life. The Church puts so much emphasis on the youth and then all of sudden, it's like "Here you are. Out you go into the real world. So... good luck with that." And the young adults are all trying to figure out what just happened and at the same time stay spiritual and stay focused on our studies and make friends and re-establish life as we know it.
But I truly believe that the Lord is there to guide us. (I promise I wasn't planning on being cliché when I started typing this) He know what's going on and has a better view of the future than I ever could. So here's to sticking to it, and plugging along when the tough times come.

Missions.

They're a great thing. Until you realize all the guy friends you made this year at BYU will slowly filter out and then you're left at square one again. Add that to your friends who are already out and you run up quite the bill in stamps. I hope that my boys spread the Gospel far and wide and make this two year separation worth it.