I really am not okay with this whole 'moving' thing.

I have never EVER thought more about backing out of something until now. Obviously I'm still going. Not going would be ridiculous. But saying goodbye to my best friends in the world is one of the hardest things to do. How will I have lunch without having to yell at the boys to pick up their trash? Where am I going to go when I realize I can't just show up at Brendan's house? Who am I supposed to lean on when I just need to cry?
To prove to you how pathetic I am, I couldn't even make it down the driveway at B's house before crying. Not just a few tears. I was crying pretty hard. Luckily, he was the last stop.
This whole new world used to be exciting and inviting. And now I'm wondering what in the world am I thinking? Reality hit. Hard. So now it's 3:30 in the morning and I'm blogging because I can't sleep because I'm bawling my eyes out realizing how wonderful my life is here.
Example 1: Today I get a text from Josef that said he wanted to see me before I left. Cue tear fest. For those who don't know, I was J's first friend at CLHS. And I'm soooo glad I talked to him in that PE class. He is such an inspiration.
Example 2: Sam Omiotek printed some of his lovely shots of Lakeport for me to take to school with me. I'm so glad I can hang a piece of home in my room.
Example 3: I can just show up at people's houses and there's no judgments.
Example 4: Brooke posting on my Facebook Wall. You're amazing and beautiful and I love you and I miss you!!!!! :) ♥
Example 5: Rachel and Scott being so loving and kind all these years. I appreciate their support.
Example 6: Going to Mitch's house and having 10 people there to say goodbye too. I love those people.
Example 7: Ty staying in his undies when I went to say bye. Definitely love there.
Example 8: B letting me live in denial. Even though he has class today. But just for a minute, letting me pretend it wasn't happening. Living in the moment.
My friends always know just what I need. I KNOW I will never be able to replace or substitute or come anywhere close to what I have now. But I sure hope that I have something. And mainly enjoy myself.
On a side note, I will be in the car for 12 hours tomorrow. Text me and keep me company.