I Have Never Been So Thankful

I'm in one of those euphoric states. Literally everything in my life brings me joy - sometimes it just takes longer to remember it. And I can spam all of you with my immense gratitude because it's Thanksgiving. And so begins the list...

Brittani's Gratitude List (<yep. I'm 5 years old)

*Christmas music. It just brings such happiness mainly because I'm thinking about home and family and more holiday memories.

*My friends and the wonderful people they are. I'm grateful for when they cook for me. For when they know something's wrong. For when they make feel better. For when they remind me to find happiness. For when they tell me to stop being stupid and brush myself off. And for when I can do the exact same to them.

*Words. It's amazing the impact that words have - written or spoken, they can change things around completely. And I've realized the last few days how many people turn these words into art that moves me. 

*My job. I complain about it more than I should. It's in the late hours of the night sitting on the floor with my girls talking about life, love, and everything under the sun that I realize why I do what I do. And more importantly, why I love it.

*Camp Kesem. Camp gave me purpose. Camp reminded me what I love about life. It brought back the happiness in my life because I finally found a place where I belonged. It is SO much more than something to put on a resume. It's a family. It saved me.
*BYU. I'm here learning at a prestigious school on full-scholarship from some of the brightest people in the world. Not only do I get to increase my education, I get to grow spiritually in all that I do and be fully immersed in this Gospel that I hold so dearly. Not to mention the Temple that is right outside my window.

*The Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was restored on this earth for ME. Well, and you too. It reminds me to keep an eternal perspective on life. It helps me to not sweat the little things. It gives me comfort when nothing else can. It gives me purpose. It gives me hope. 

*My family. The reason I started writing this post to begin with. After spending a lovely day with my Aunt and Uncle and the rest of the clan, I came home tonight to work. And I started wallowing, "Woe is me. I'm alone on Thanksgiving night. My family is far away and I'm here alone. Why me." And I realized how blessed I am. I shouldn't be pitying myself today. I should be ecstatic about all that I have been blessed with. And my family is my everything, as crazy and complicated and backwards as it can get. I would be nowhere without these beautiful people. And as cliché as that is, I mean every single word. They're my biggest cheerleaders, my greatest examples, and the funniest people I will ever have the privilege of knowing in this life. And they're all mine. Sorry, y'all. 

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, too. No matter where you were or who you were with because you have people, experiences, and encounters to be thankful for too.

By these things we know...

By these things we know that there is a God in heaven, who is infinite and eternal, from everlasting to everlasting the same unchangeable God, the framer of heaven and earth, and all things which are in them;

And that he created man, male and female, after his own image and in his own likeness, created he them;

And gave unto them commandments that they should love and serve him, the only living and true God, and that he should be the only being whom they should worship.


Doctrine and Covenants 20:17-19

Read the whole section here.

Happiness is...

As an RA, I'm required to take a 2-credit class that is basically job training through the semester. We learn practical skills such as what to do in emergencies, but every Tuesday we meet with a psychologist as a class and she teaches us different things to look for with mental health aspects of our job. (This isn't to say we assess and diagnose, but rather that we have resources for when our residents have questions).

This week we talked about happiness.

According to a study, our happiness can be broken down into 3 aspects: biological, circumstantial, and personal choices.
10% of our happiness is circumstantial.
50% is biological.
40% is our personal choices.

This literally means our happiness is dependent on our choosing. WE decide whether or not we want to be happy!

This got me to thinking about the past year. Things have definitely changed. And I've definitely noticed it throughout the semester, but it smacked me in the face yesterday.

Because yesterday it snowed.

And I was happy about it. 

Yeah. You read it right. 

I. Was. Happy.

And I told A and N and they realized what a big deal this was and gave me a hug like I'd won some sort of competition.

And I guess in a way I had. I'd conquered my fears and my hesitation and my setbacks and my worries and I had final embraced my situation and realized how AMAZING my life is and how incredibly blessed I am. It's really remarkable.

And it may not mean a lot to you, but it means everything to me.

Newsflash: I'm 19.

I pride myself on being 19 and being in the place that I am in my life. I'm mostly self-sufficient. I pay for school all on my own. I'm getting close to paying bills (but not that close because no one needs to grow up that quickly).
And I meet people that think the fact I'm 19 is a bad thing. Or a testament to immaturity. Or that I just don't understand.
And for many aspects of life that's totally 100% true.
And you might be thinking that I want to back up the other side that says no, my age is just a number. And maybe I will some other time. But I think right now it's important for me to embrace the fact that I'm ONLY 19. I have so much life left to live. I have so many things to experience. I have to remember what being 19 means outside of the bubble.
And to me, that means to be a kid while I still can, and to never let those feelings leave. Because who really wants to grow up?
So I'll eat with my Ariel & Rapunzel place settings with Amber.

I'll get excited about Disneyland and new animated kids' movies and Disney songs.
I'll eat too much food - and nothing nutritious at that.

I'll live like I'm crazy and stay out too late and not sleep enough and ditch class every once in a while.
I'll take pictures with trees.

I'll move my bed into the living room and sleep on the floor with my friends.
I'll meet new people and make new friends and lose friends and make memories.

I'LL LIVE.

I spend all this time telling people to "Let them be kids" when I talk about Camp Kesem.
Isn't it important to let me be a kid too?

We live, we learn. We crash and burn.

Y'all know H, right?

Um, babe much, am I right? Really this post has less to do about her and more about our conversations.

H is getting ready to serve a mission. I'm at BYU.
We both blog.
Mama Hen, Momma Goose.
We both turned 19 this year.
And we both learned a lot.

It's hard to explain sometimes, how much we've grown.

To sum it up:

To my self,
When you go our and don't come home until 6 am embrace it.
When you don't sleep, complain. But gain perspective that you did something worthwhile.
When you break down because you can't follow someone's thought process, eat the Phish Food and call the friend that's always been there.
Swoon for those kids that look like they're 12 just because they can sing. Also, they're legal.
Be inspired.
Recognize the importance of people before they're gone.
Enjoy the attention but protect yourself. Humans are imperfect. Don't hold someone to too high of a standard.
It's okay to be conceited. You're freaking worth it. You deserve an equal.
Age is just a number. Some people take longer to realize it than others.
"I was dumb. I learned and I grew."
Take every moment and let it be a learning experience.

Above all else?
#yolo
#iaintevenmad
#wishicared
#hashtag

There's Those Moments On Campus When I Hear Things And Think, "Only at BYU..."

Like today, when I was walking to my last class and I hear a guy shouting into the phone, "IN THE ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE OF THINGS..." and he proceeded to shout while I carried on my merry way to class (PS I'll tell you what, class in the Benson and then in the Heritage Central Building with 10 minutes to get there is nearly impossible. Note to self for next semester).


And while I laughed to myself about the irony of what he said with the tone of which he said it, I realized that's an important motto.
The eternal perspective: what REALLY, TRULY matters?
Does it matter what we did in high school, how many things we're involved in, how many parties we've been to, the number of hours we've slept, how much money is in our bank accounts, how many friends we've had?

No.

It matters more how we carry ourselves after our experiences.

How we spend our time and the knowledge we've gained.

What did we do with our life? What did we leave behind?

How are we living now?

Do we dwell in the past? Or do we set our sights on the future? 

We keep moving forward.

"Stand ye in Holy Places"

The greatest miracles I see today are not necessarily the healing of sick bodies, but the greatest miracles I see are the healing of sick souls, those who are sick in soul and spirit and are downhearted and distraught, on the verge of nervous breakdowns. We are are reaching out to all such, because they are precious in the sight of the Lord, and we want no one to feel that they are forgotten...
You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is. You must be sure, if you would rescue the man, that you yourself are setting the example of what you would have him be. You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul.

-President Harold B. Lee