Newsflash: I'm 19.

I pride myself on being 19 and being in the place that I am in my life. I'm mostly self-sufficient. I pay for school all on my own. I'm getting close to paying bills (but not that close because no one needs to grow up that quickly).
And I meet people that think the fact I'm 19 is a bad thing. Or a testament to immaturity. Or that I just don't understand.
And for many aspects of life that's totally 100% true.
And you might be thinking that I want to back up the other side that says no, my age is just a number. And maybe I will some other time. But I think right now it's important for me to embrace the fact that I'm ONLY 19. I have so much life left to live. I have so many things to experience. I have to remember what being 19 means outside of the bubble.
And to me, that means to be a kid while I still can, and to never let those feelings leave. Because who really wants to grow up?
So I'll eat with my Ariel & Rapunzel place settings with Amber.

I'll get excited about Disneyland and new animated kids' movies and Disney songs.
I'll eat too much food - and nothing nutritious at that.

I'll live like I'm crazy and stay out too late and not sleep enough and ditch class every once in a while.
I'll take pictures with trees.

I'll move my bed into the living room and sleep on the floor with my friends.
I'll meet new people and make new friends and lose friends and make memories.

I'LL LIVE.

I spend all this time telling people to "Let them be kids" when I talk about Camp Kesem.
Isn't it important to let me be a kid too?

We live, we learn. We crash and burn.

Y'all know H, right?

Um, babe much, am I right? Really this post has less to do about her and more about our conversations.

H is getting ready to serve a mission. I'm at BYU.
We both blog.
Mama Hen, Momma Goose.
We both turned 19 this year.
And we both learned a lot.

It's hard to explain sometimes, how much we've grown.

To sum it up:

To my self,
When you go our and don't come home until 6 am embrace it.
When you don't sleep, complain. But gain perspective that you did something worthwhile.
When you break down because you can't follow someone's thought process, eat the Phish Food and call the friend that's always been there.
Swoon for those kids that look like they're 12 just because they can sing. Also, they're legal.
Be inspired.
Recognize the importance of people before they're gone.
Enjoy the attention but protect yourself. Humans are imperfect. Don't hold someone to too high of a standard.
It's okay to be conceited. You're freaking worth it. You deserve an equal.
Age is just a number. Some people take longer to realize it than others.
"I was dumb. I learned and I grew."
Take every moment and let it be a learning experience.

Above all else?
#yolo
#iaintevenmad
#wishicared
#hashtag

There's Those Moments On Campus When I Hear Things And Think, "Only at BYU..."

Like today, when I was walking to my last class and I hear a guy shouting into the phone, "IN THE ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE OF THINGS..." and he proceeded to shout while I carried on my merry way to class (PS I'll tell you what, class in the Benson and then in the Heritage Central Building with 10 minutes to get there is nearly impossible. Note to self for next semester).


And while I laughed to myself about the irony of what he said with the tone of which he said it, I realized that's an important motto.
The eternal perspective: what REALLY, TRULY matters?
Does it matter what we did in high school, how many things we're involved in, how many parties we've been to, the number of hours we've slept, how much money is in our bank accounts, how many friends we've had?

No.

It matters more how we carry ourselves after our experiences.

How we spend our time and the knowledge we've gained.

What did we do with our life? What did we leave behind?

How are we living now?

Do we dwell in the past? Or do we set our sights on the future? 

We keep moving forward.

"Stand ye in Holy Places"

The greatest miracles I see today are not necessarily the healing of sick bodies, but the greatest miracles I see are the healing of sick souls, those who are sick in soul and spirit and are downhearted and distraught, on the verge of nervous breakdowns. We are are reaching out to all such, because they are precious in the sight of the Lord, and we want no one to feel that they are forgotten...
You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is. You must be sure, if you would rescue the man, that you yourself are setting the example of what you would have him be. You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul.

-President Harold B. Lee

Love It Like A Little Kid

For the original article, click here.

I’ve met a couple of young children in the past couple weeks (some family friends, some coming to shows, some just at the grocery store that I follow around for a few isles before their parents give me looks), and after spending enough time around them, and comparing myself to them (which I realize is a weird impulse), I came to a sad realization:

I don’t love anything the way they love everything.

For instance, I watched one of them just go nuts with this balloon. From the minute he found it, he was completely in love with the balloon. Nothing could tear away his attention. Any cares he had prior to the balloon (probably not many, to be fair), were completely washed away. You could have offered him a magical ride on a golden carpet made of french fries, and he probably still would have chosen to stay there and just mess around with this balloon.

Nowadays, even when I find something that makes me feel the way that I think that balloon probably made him feel (Michigan football, steak sandwiches, Fall weather, new Drake songs, etc), I can’t love it like that. I can’t have that same reaction. I’m happy, but not little-kid-with-a-balloon-or-a-puppy-or-the-thought-of-ice-cream-happy. I’m happy, but I’m distracted.

Here’s the difference: kid happiness blinds you to everything else. Modern happiness (for me, at least) just feels like a temporary break from my permanent march toward something else: obligations, sleep, death? Kid love is everything, modern love is just…something.

So, now fully self-aware of that shortcoming, I’ve started trying something. Now, when something that I love happens, I try to fully immerse myself in it. I try not to think about it as temporary: it’s what I’m doing so it’s everything that I am.

And it didn’t really work with the Michigan game on Saturday or the steak sandwich I bought at Subway the other day. It didn’t really work with anything until I tried it on stage the other night. I was performing, a job that I love, and I let myself just do that. I tried not to worry about how much water I was drinking, my posture, my banter, where I was placing the sound when I was singing, how I was holding the microphone, and I just let myself be right exactly where I was.

And, as the kid and his balloon would confirm, it worked! Before I knew it, I wasn’t thinking about any of those things. In fact, I wasn’t thinking about anything. I was just letting myself do nothing but love what I was doing. And all of my worldly concerned and long-term fears were gone.  I never understood that “in that moment, I felt infinite” line from Perks of Being a Wallflower, but I got it then, and I think that the key, at least for me, to getting it, was thinking about that little kid with the balloon.

My conclusion was this: if you let yourself love the things you love SO MUCH that for a temporary period of time forget that it’s a temporary period of time, you’ll love it exactly like you’re supposed to: like a little kid.

-Paradise Fears

They opened for Parachute and were sososo nerd-tastically cute, but I just really loved this post.

In a university of 30,000 people, it sure can be easy to feel so alone.

But I sure am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf:
"I am sure at one time or another we have all thought it would be nice to take up residence in a land filled only with days of picture-perfect seasons and avoid the unpleasant times in between.

But this is not possible. Nor is it desirable. ...

The question is not whether we will experience seasons of adversity but how we will weather the storms.

Sometimes we cannot understand why difficult, even unfair, things happen in life. But as followers of Christ, we trust that if we “search diligently, pray always, and be believing, … all things shall work together for [our] good, if [we] walk uprightly” (D&C 90:24; emphasis added).

Still, we will have to pass through all seasons—both pleasant and painful. But no matter the season, as followers of Jesus the Christ, we will rest our hope upon Him as we walk toward His light."

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985):
“If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective. …
“Are we not exposed to temptations to test our strength, sickness that we might learn patience, death that we might be immortalized and glorified?”

It's Oren Michael's Birthday!

He's pretty cool I guess. And I kinda like him. I'll keep him around - mainly so I have someone to go to Disneyland with.
In reality he's the best. He's my brotha from anotha mother and he's one of those people I don't want to ever leave my life. I'm so grateful for all that he does for me and I hope I'm half as good of a friend/person as he is. He's one of the most inspirational people I know - always looking for positives and taking care of others before himself. We've had some crazy memories and I cherish them dearly.
I miss you tons Oren and I hope you're having a fantastic, wonderful, over-the-moon day (but also that you miss me just a little bit and that kinda puts a damper on your day. That'd be awesome.)
I love you so much! Thanks for being you. And being born. And living and all that. Happy 19th birthday, yo.