Reflection

For every paper I've written in my Writing 150 class, we had to complete a reflection on the process of writing our paper and the challenges and successes that came because of it.
Well, seeing as it's the end of my first semester of college (!), I thought it might be appropriate to reflect on my challenges and successes in this latest chapter of my life.

First, I have now lived on my own for four months. HATE IT. There is nothing better than going home, eating something homemade, having someone do your laundry, and not having to plan everything on your own. But, there are positives. I don't have to have someone plan my every minute (Mom, if you only knew how I spent my time here...), and I'm learning to be independent. Baby steps, for sure, but I'm doing it.

Second, I have a new family. I did the impossible and made new friends. Seeing my brothers/bulldogs over break was one of the highlights of my life, no joke. But there was a part of me that couldn't wait to get back to P-town to see Kenzi and Amber - my sisters - and all the other wonderful/not-so-wonderful people here. What a relief to know that, yes, it can be done! I can live outside of Lake County!

Third, I'm not engaged, dating someone, or planning on dating someone. Take that all you people who said I'd come to BYU and be engaged after a semester because
    a. That's what Mormons do
    b. That's what BYU is for.
    c. It didn't matter where I went to school because I really was only going to meet my future husband (MRS degree, obviously)
And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Fourth, I have cried more in the last four months than anytime I can remember. There were the times when I missed my boys. There were the times when I was so stressed about classes I couldn't see straight. There were the times when all I wanted was to be home where I didn't have to worry about money anymore! There were the times when I couldn't make up my mind about the future (a scary place by the way). And there were the times when I just wanted familiarity. BUT I LIVED. I succeeded. I made it through. And all those worries seem a lot sillier from this point of view.

Fifth, I'm okay with the fact that I haven't gotten all As this semester and that that is pretty much out of the realm of possibility. Did it suck of course? Well yeah! This girl's had straight As since the 4th grade! But then I remembered I'm at BYU. And every student here came from a highly successful academic background. And not everyone can be on top. AND I AM OKAY WITH IT.

Sixth, getting out of the Lake County bubble has opened my eyes in so many ways. I sure appreciate home a lot more. I wouldn't change growing up in hicktown Lakeport for anything in my life. I love having to explain where I live in California to people who think that they know the area so well. And then the looks on people's faces when I tell them I graduated with 100 kids. The stories that I have, the memories, make it all worth it in the end.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that I'm happy for where I've been, and excited for where I'm going. I kinda surprised myself with sitting down and writing this with how many things I'm thankful for in my life. It may mean nothing to you. But it means everything to me!

EDIT: Oren wanted me to let you all know how miserable I was that I didn't get to see him over break. That is all.